Copyright © 1996,
And Mark Lewis. http://www.pottedjam.org Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
by Jane And Mark Lewis
This sketch was written to try to show that there is more to Christmas
than a children's story. Jesus' coming into this world presents us with
a challenge - one that, if we ignore too long, means we will miss out.
It was originally written for and performed at an ecumenical service
in a Catholic Church.
No mention of Bethlehem is made to allow the geographical
Driffield) to work (the original was performed in York) You'll have to
pick towns to fit your context, obviously.
Husband (a shepherd)
Enough to suggest a Living Room - e.g. comfy chairs and telly. Tip: If
you are performing this in a church building it may be awkward getting
a real sofa on stage. You can use a couple of ordinary church chairs
together with a "throw" over them to make them look more
Wife: [putting on a coat] So you coming
Husband: [sitting watching
Wife: To the stable, to see the baby?
Husband: What baby?
Wife: The one the angels told you about.
Husband: Oh that baby, yes,
of course...[doesn't move]
Wife: Well, come on then.
Husband: Alright, alright I'm
[they both leave]
Wife: So you coming then?
Husband: Where to?
Wife: To see the baby.
Husband: Again?! We went
Wife: No I went yesterday. You came with me as far
the inn, nipped in for a swift half, and I never saw you again.
Husband: Well, I was having a
conversation with the lads about virtual reality and how many pints it
takes to get there.
Wife: What time did you get home this morning?
Husband: Oh er .. about 1
Wife: Oh fine. [pause] Well are you coming
Husband: Well I would only
are at home to United and the match kicks off in half an hour so I
I'd stay in and watch it.
Wife: Oh please yourself then. You don't know what
Husband: Yeah, well you have a
time. [Wife leaves]
Husband: [asleep in front
Wife: [entering] Guess what, guess what?
Husband: Uh? [waking up]
Wife: Some strange men have arrived.
Husband: Sheep rustlers again
it? Wait til I get my shot gun.
Wife: You don't have a shotgun dear.
Husband: What? Huh? Uh, Oh No.
I don't do I.
Wife: Don't be silly dear.
Husband: Well where are they?
Wife: They're not here love they're at the stable -
came to see the baby.
Husband: Oh. Oh I see. [pause]
You woke me up to tell me that?
Wife: They were from the East.
Husband: You don't mean, [pause]
Wife: No the Far East.
Husband: All the way from
Wife: No they were from Arabia
Husband: That's a long way to
Wife: They brought him gifts: Gold, frankincense
Husband: That's a bit daft. I
thought nappies and a cuddly toy would be much more appropriate.
Wife: Oh I give up. I'm going to bed. There's no
Husband: 'Night. [To himself]
What a funny carry on.
Wife: So, you coming then?
Husband: No I don't think so.
like he's got enough important people going to see him without
[sniffs & coughs pathetically] I think I'm coming down with
something anyway. You go though.
Wife: [sigh] Alright then. See you later.
Husband: Bye. [To himself]
What's the attraction? Its only a baby in a stable. I ask you.... Mind
you its not every baby who arrives heralded by angels. Maybe I had
go and see what all the fuss is about. Yes, I'll go tomorrow....
[Scene 5 - roles reversed]
Husband: You coming then?
Wife: Where to?
Husband: See this baby you've
telling me about.
Wife: It's too late.
Husband: Why? What do you
Wife: No. They've gone - whole family. Had to leave
country. Herod's after them. I thought you'd've heard about it.
Husband: No. I hadn't. Oh No,
really wanted to see him as well.
Wife: Well you should've come with me.
Husband: Yes I suppose so.
Wife: Well its your own fault...
Husband: Yes, I know
Wife: ...now you've missed your opportunity.
[Husband looks at audience. Freeze.]
Copyright © 1996, 2001
Mark Lewis. http://www.pottedjam.org
This is the SMALL
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