The X-mas Files

by Jane And Mark Lewis
Potted JAM
Copyright © 1996, 2001 Jane And Mark Lewis. Email:



This sketch was obviously written at the height of the popularity of the X-Files. We asked ourselves - what would happen if Moulder and Scully were to investigate the strange events surrounding the birth of a certain baby?.... This was the result.



  • Mouldy and Scullery - FBI Agents
  • Eli - a Bethlehem shepherd


No staging is required for this sketch - everything can be done by mime. The main thing is to have some costume items for Mouldy and Scullery to suggest they are FBI Agents - e.g. raincoats. To set the right mood, start with blackout (or as near as possible) and have Mouldy and Scullery entering waving bright torches around whilst the theme for X-Files plays...


[X-Files theme tune]
Scullery:  Where are we going this time Mouldy?
Mouldy:  There have been reports of strange lights in the sky near Bethlehem - we're going to find out what it is. Most likely its aliens.
Scullery:  Aliens! Its always aliens with you Mouldy!! A lightbulb blows - its aliens, you lose a sock in the wash - its aliens, the toilet paper runs out - its aliens.
Mouldy:  Just you wait and see Scullery. There's an eyewitness we're going to see. I'm sure his story will confirm my suspicions!
Scullery:  Uh Huh. So who's the witness?
Mouldy:  A shepherd called Eli. According to the police report he saw everything....Ah, here we are...
[they arrive at a door. Mouldy knocks. The door is opened by Eli]
Eli:  Aye?
[Mouldy and Scullery flash their badges]
Mouldy:  Hello. I'm Special Agent Fox Mouldy with the FBI. This is Special Agent Dana Scullery. May we come in?
Eli:  Aye. If you must. What's this all about then?
Scullery:  Sir, apparently you witnessed the strange lights over the hills last week.
Eli:  Aye. That I did. There were a lot more than strange lights though..
Mouldy:  See Scullery what did I tell you...
Eli:  ...there were angels!!
Mouldy:  I'm sorry did you say Aliens?
Eli:  No lad. Are you deaf or something? I said ANGELS.
Scullery:  Sir, how do you know they were angels? 
Eli:  I know what I saw!
Scullery:  Can you describe what you saw - exactly.
Eli:  Of course. We were out on the hills minding the sheep. As you do. When suddenly this bright light appeared....
Mouldy:  ...that'll be the mother ship...
Eli: it were an angel. And he spoke to us and said, "I bring you great news. Today your Saviour is born in Bethlehem - he is the Messiah, the Lord. And you will find the baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger". Then the sky was filled with music and a huge angelic choir appeared singing glory to God.
Mouldy:  We'd better watch out Scullery the aliens have taken human form and they're going to invade the world!
Scullery:  Mouldy, don't be ridiculous. This man is clearly delusional. Angels! Honestly! I need to perform a full examination. Stand back I'm a medical doctor! [She then proceeds to examine Eli - taps his knee, makes him cough, say "aaahh" and looks at his pupils. Eli looks bemused but puts up with it. Then she takes Mouldy aside]. Mouldy - he has a sub-dermal haematoma but no sign of radiation burns.
Mouldy:  That sounds serious. Is it the result of an close encounter with an alien lifeform?
Eli:  No. It's a bruise as the result of a close encounter with the ground when I fell over backwards. 
Scullery:  Mouldy this man is ... perfectly healthy. There's nothing wrong with him!
Mouldy:  Oh No!
Scullery:  Exactly - what if he's telling the truth?
Eli:  Of course I'm telling the truth you daft beggars. If you don't believe me why don't you go down to the stable and see for yourselves! [Pointing vigorously] The truth is out there!

Copyright © 1996, 2001 Jane And Mark Lewis. Email:

This is the SMALL PRINT. Subject to our Terms and Conditions of Use you are licensed to perform this sketch free of charge and also copy, modify and distribute this sketch (providing appropriate copyright notices and references to the Potted JAM website remain intact). You may not charge for performing, copying, modifying or distributing the sketch. Full details of our Terms and Conditions of Use are published on the appropriate page on our website

Back to Top             Back to Drama Homepage