Reward Points

by Jane And Mark Lewis

Background
Rating
Characters
Staging
Script

Background

This sketch was written to illustrate the point that we cannot earn our way into heaven. Importantly it does not answer the question of how we can. The sketch is deliberately intended as a feeder to a talk or sermon as part of a church service.Obviously replace references to York Community Church with the name of your church.

Rating

Characters

A shop/customer services assistant (e.g. wearing a hideous name badge)
A woman shopper with handbag containing a sheaf of reward point vouchers (these can be simply different bits of coloured paper)

Staging

A table or counter as the shop counter
A sign (we used an OHP acetate) saying "York Community Church Customer Services"

Script

Assistant: Welcome to York Community Church. How may I help you?
Woman: [Carrying a pre-paid mobile phone box] Yes I'm interested in this mobile.....
Assistant: Ah yes. The pray-as-you-go model is very popular these days, madam. Do you have a York Community Church Reward Point Loyalty Advantage Clubcard?
Woman: Yes - and I'd like to convert my vouchers to reward points [searches in handbag/purse for vouchers pulls out a huge sheaf of vouchers]
Assistant: That's alot of vouchers Madam.
Woman: Yes I'm saving up.
Assistant: Right let's see. [starts to flick through the vouchers].10 Family Service attendance vouchers.
Woman: Yes and they're sequential. [Proudly] I came 10 weeks in a row.
Assistant: Excellent madam - you realise that doubles your Reward Points.
Woman: Oh yes. And 6 of the weeks were during term time so do I qualify for lunch?
Assistant: Are you a student madam?
Woman: No.
Assistant: I'm afraid if you're not a student there's no such thing as a free lunch.
Woman: Oh I see.
Assistant: But your 200 points from the Family Services plus the 50 points from the pray-as-you-go-mobile gives you 250 reward points. Now that entitles you to a free place on the Sunday School trip to Kinderland or a visit from the church Elders at a time convenient to yourself.
Woman: No, no. As I said I'm saving up and we haven't finished all my vouchers yet.
Assistant: Yes of course. What other vouchers do you have.
Woman: Well I have these from housegroup. And some from the Communion Service...
Assistant: My you have been busy
Woman: ...and [very boastfully] a 1000-reward-point attendance voucher from the Prayer Meeting.
Assistant: [v. impressed] My goodness madam. [Holding it up to the light to check it] We don't see many of these I can tell you!!! You'll be able to select from a very wide choice of items from our York Community Church Reward Point Loyalty Advantage Clubcard catalogue.
Woman: Oh I know what I want - I'm saving up for Eternal Life. Have I got enough points yet?
Assistant: I'm sorry to disappoint you but Eternal life isn't part of the reward scheme.
Woman: Pardon?
Assistant: Reward points don't count towards eternal life, madam.
Woman: But, but - I don't understand you're always talking about it in here - it must be part of the scheme.
Assistant: I'm afraid not, madam. You see Eternal Life is pre-paid. Its a free gift madam!
Woman: You mean I can't earn it with my reward points?
Assistant: [patiently]No madam. That is correct.
Woman: Well how do I get Eternal Life?
Assistant: Well madam if you just take a seat over there the speaker will be along any minute - he'll explain everything. Thank you for choosing York Community Church. Have a nice day!