We liked this one and thought it was a good sketch - however,
in front of the home crowd! So, originally we
gave it a 2 pot rating. However, we have since heard that others have
successfully used it elsewhere - hence the 5 pots!! So - you never can
Wife: [offstage] Ian? Ian?
[Ian hurriedly folds up and hides paper]
Wife: [Entering] What are you doing?
Ian: [Starting to sweep] Sweeping up love.
Wife: Well I couldn't hear anything. You were reading the paper weren't you?
Wife: You were! I know when you're lying Ian. Look we have loads to do, we're fully booked for tonight.
Ian: Yes, yes I know.
Wife: And we've lots to do.
Ian: Yes. I know and and everything's nearly ready.
Wife: Have you cleaned the loos?
Wife: Cleared out the box room?
Ian: Yep. And put the camp bed in there.
Wife: Removed that coffee stain from the floor in Room 3?
Ian: I put a rug over it - no-one'll notice.
Wife: Oh all right. Now I've got all the extra sheets washed and dried - did you get those extra blankets down from the loft?
Ian: Yes, but we've got plenty, I doubt we'll need them.
Wife: But Ian, from what Mr. Jacobs says from the corner shop there are hundreds of people coming to the village. We might be trying to squeeze people in everywhere.
Ian: We're fully booked!! See [points to window] "No Vacancies".
Wife: Well, if people are desperate they might share.
Ian: I'm not sure...
Wife: I bet we could get another camp bed into Room 2 if we moved the wardrobe round.
Ian: Alright, alright! honestly!
Wife: We'll need every bed we can get tonight - I'm telling you.
Ian: Yes dear. [Returns to sweeping]. Stupid Census. What have the Romans ever done for us! Eh?
Wife: Well given us a roaring trade in the off-season for starters so stop complaining. Now what about the stable?
Ian: What about the stable?
Wife: [An avaricious glint appearing in her eye] Well its warm and dry...
Ian: You are kidding me, who'd sleep in a stable?
Wife: Its better than sleeping rough.
Ian: But it stinks!
Wife: Yes, which is why you're going to sweep it out and put some fresh hay down.
Ian: You'll be wanting me to clean the manger out next.
Wife: That's a good idea - you might as well put some fresh hay in that too.
Ian: Good grief woman! We're rolling out the red carpet aren't we? Who exactly are we expecting - The Royal Family?
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