ContentsBackgroundMark was preaching on 2 Chronicles 29 and Hezekiah's reformation - the cleansing of the Temple and the re-introduction of Temple worship into the life of Judah. As the context was an all-age service we thought about how we could get the story of the cleansing of the Temple across and struck on the idea of performing it as if it was a TV makeover show with a guest designer. Pastiche was born - as a mash-up of a whole load of flamboyant designer/PR-types from various TV and film sources. The sketch was first performed the Sunday after the Opening Ceremony of the London 2012 Summer Olympics - hence topical reference at the end of the sketch.(You can hear the original performance approximately 10 minutes into this audio file of the sermon). Rating![]() ![]() ![]() Characters
StagingPastiche and Zechariah start to one side of the stage when they meet and move centre-stage to inspect the "temple". They are peering through the "doors" into the gloom beyond - i.e. where the congregation/audience is is the interior of the temple.ScriptZechariah: Hi there, I'm Zechariah – Royal Temple Liasion, you must be…Pastiche: Pastiche darling. Pastiche. But everyone calls me Pasti. Zechariah: Er OK. Nice to meet you … Pasti. You can call me Zak. You are our royal… Pastiche: Interior designer darling. Yes that's right. Apparently you've got quite a big job for me. I do love a challenge darling. Show me. Show me. Come along I haven't got all day. Zechariah: Right yes of course this way. Well it is a big job … the temple. Now, we've managed to get the doors open…. Pastiche: Marvellous look at the wood. Look at the height – they are gorgeous. Darling I love these doors. These doors must stay…. Zechariah: Well yes we'd rather hoped they would – it gets a bit draughty otherwise… it was more the interior … Pastiche: Of course darling, of course. I am after all an interior designer – let's have a look Zechariah: Sorry it's bit dark – hopefully you can see - we haven't got the lights working again yet. Ahaz refused to pay the bill. So they got cut off. Pastiche: What did? Zechariah: The wicks in the oil lamps. Cut-off. We can't get them re-lit. Pastiche: Dear me, darling. [peers in] I see – Its full of junk. Dear me this is all going to have to go – we'll have to clear all of this out. All of it. Awful. I mean look at that idol over there – so last year darling. Zechariah: Yes we do need to clear it out and then…. Pastiche: And then darling _ I can see it now. Here's the thing. The thing is we will have a wonderful space to fill with …. With white. Yes white. It's the new black darling. Everything must be white. Minimalist. Bright. It will make a statement darling. Zechariah: Yes I believe King Hezekiah was hoping it would be a bit more back to how it used to be – you know before. Pastiche: Back? Back darling? No not back. I never look back darling. It distracts from the now! Zechariah: Ah. Let me see…..[pauses, inspiration strikes]. Well perhaps we should go for, you know, a more retro feel. Pastiche: Of course. Retro. I love it. Yes we can do the whole retro thing. Gold on the walls. With some lovely little, gorgeous gold, gorgeous things oh yes I love it. Zechariah: That's it exactly- we'll need the old temple equip…er…objets to really complete that retro temple look and er…we'll need them for the sacrifices. Pastiche: Sacrifices darling? What sacrifices? Apart from my sacrifice for my art obviously. Zechariah: Well you know the sacrifices – we'll need to dedicate the temple and consecrate the temples arti….objets. er…by splashing them with blood! Pastiche: Blood darling? Blood? On my nice new retro temple gold.. I don’t think so…. Zechariah: But we really need the sacrifices ... Pastiche: No wait darling. Wait. [pause]. Of course! Red. Red and Gold. Totally. Yes that could work. Zechariah: So that's all good then ... Pastiche: OK darling now have you thought about the Opening Ceremony. I think we should invite all the other nations and I have this vision of doves, not real doves but people dressed as doves…. Zechariah: [gently directing Pastiche off-stage] Actually we already have somebody in mind for the Opening Ceremony - have you heard of O. Danny Boye? Copyright © 2012 Jane And Mark Lewis. http://www.pottedjam.org Email: sketches@pottedjam.org Back to Top Back to Drama Homepage |