(You can hear the original performance approximately 10 minutes into this audio file of the sermon).
Pastiche: Pastiche darling. Pastiche. But everyone calls me Pasti.
Zechariah: Er OK. Nice to meet you … Pasti. You can call me Zak. You are our royal…
Pastiche: Interior designer darling. Yes that's right. Apparently you've got quite a big job for me. I do love a challenge darling. Show me. Show me. Come along I haven't got all day.
Zechariah: Right yes of course this way. Well it is a big job … the temple. Now, we've managed to get the doors open….
Pastiche: Marvellous look at the wood. Look at the height – they are gorgeous. Darling I love these doors. These doors must stay….
Zechariah: Well yes we'd rather hoped they would – it gets a bit draughty otherwise… it was more the interior …
Pastiche: Of course darling, of course. I am after all an interior designer – let's have a look
Zechariah: Sorry it's bit dark – hopefully you can see - we haven't got the lights working again yet. Ahaz refused to pay the bill. So they got cut off.
Pastiche: What did?
Zechariah: The wicks in the oil lamps. Cut-off. We can't get them re-lit.
Pastiche: Dear me, darling. [peers in] I see – Its full of junk. Dear me this is all going to have to go – we'll have to clear all of this out. All of it. Awful. I mean look at that idol over there – so last year darling.
Zechariah: Yes we do need to clear it out and then….
Pastiche: And then darling _ I can see it now. Here's the thing. The thing is we will have a wonderful space to fill with …. With white. Yes white. It's the new black darling. Everything must be white. Minimalist. Bright. It will make a statement darling.
Zechariah: Yes I believe King Hezekiah was hoping it would be a bit more back to how it used to be – you know before.
Pastiche: Back? Back darling? No not back. I never look back darling. It distracts from the now!
Zechariah: Ah. Let me see…..[pauses, inspiration strikes]. Well perhaps we should go for, you know, a more retro feel.
Pastiche: Of course. Retro. I love it. Yes we can do the whole retro thing. Gold on the walls. With some lovely little, gorgeous gold, gorgeous things oh yes I love it.
Zechariah: That's it exactly- we'll need the old temple equip…er…objets to really complete that retro temple look and er…we'll need them for the sacrifices.
Pastiche: Sacrifices darling? What sacrifices? Apart from my sacrifice for my art obviously.
Zechariah: Well you know the sacrifices – we'll need to dedicate the temple and consecrate the temples arti….objets. er…by splashing them with blood!
Pastiche: Blood darling? Blood? On my nice new retro temple gold.. I don’t think so….
Zechariah: But we really need the sacrifices ...
Pastiche: No wait darling. Wait. [pause]. Of course! Red. Red and Gold. Totally. Yes that could work.
Zechariah: So that's all good then ...
Pastiche: OK darling now have you thought about the Opening Ceremony. I think we should invite all the other nations and I have this vision of doves, not real doves but people dressed as doves….
Zechariah: [gently directing Pastiche off-stage] Actually we already have somebody in mind for the Opening Ceremony - have you heard of O. Danny Boye?
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