There were 3 key objectives the skits needed to cover:
The aim was to keep the skits very short, punchy and
understandable to children as this was an all-age
service (i.e. a true reflection of the socio-political
differences between the Pharisees and Sadducees was out
of scope!). The other idea was to link them
creatively rather than topically by having each of the
encounters starting with the same opening words.."Oh
it's you", "It's me".
[two people bump into each other]
Sadducee: Oh itís you.
Pharisee: Itís me!
Sadducee: So I see!
Pharisee: Now I know who you are, we disagree!
Sadducee: Because Iím a Sadducee?
Pharisee: Yes - Because Iím a Pharisee
Sadducee: I see Ė but that doesnít explain why we donít agree!
Pharisee: Well there are lots of reasons but one is easy!
Sadducee: Well go on then Iím in a hurry!
Pharisee: As a Pharisee I believe in the resurrection, it makes me happy you see.
Sadducee: Whereas I donít believe in the resurrection, it makes meÖ.
Pharisee: Sad díyou see?
Sadducee: Oh woe is meÖ
Pharisee: I did the punchline...
Sadducee: ...before me. [Pause]. How can you believe there is more than we see? The great king David wrote in one of his Psalms. ďAmong the dead no one proclaims your name. Who praises you from his grave?Ē When youíre dead, youíre just a dead body.
Pharisee: No, no, no itís all to do with Prophecy! Didnít Job say ďI know that my redeemer lives and after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see GodĒ Ė Itís all in the future, youíll see.
Sadducee: No I still disagree, Oh woe is me.
Pharisee: You really are a SadduceeÖ.
Skit 2 Ė Guards, guards
[two guards bump into each other]
Guard 1: [relieved] Oh itís you.
Guard 2: [reassuringly] Itís me.
Guard 1: Have you heard anything yet?
Guard 2: No. You?
Guard 1: Nothing. The captain is still in with the governorís ďSpecial InvestigatorĒ now.
Guard 2: [shudders]. I have a bad feeling about this.
Guard 1: We all do. It doesnít look good for us at all.
Guard 2: Well duh! The bodyís gone. We were supposed to be guarding it. All sixteen of us. Of course it doesnít look good.
Guard 1: Alright, alright. Keep your helmet on! We just have to stick to the story we agreed with those Jewish leaders.
Guard 2: Yeah. We donít have a choice. But ďhis disciples came and stole the bodyĒ doesnít really cut it does it. A few Galilean fishermen - against us. Itís embarrassing.
Guard 1: Oh and youíd rather tell them about the earthquake, the blinding light Ö
Guard 2: and the angelÖ no, no.
Guard 1: Keep your voice down. You never know whoís listening.
Guard 2: Sorry. [Pause] I wonder where it is?
Guard 1: Where what is?
Guard 2: The body obviously of that blokeÖwhatsisnameÖ Jesus of Nazareth.
Guard 1: Well how should I know?
Guard 2: You were only guarding it after all!
Guard 1: Shut-up! I havenít got it.
Guard 2: I know, I know. We havenít got it. But neither have the Jews or why would they be in such a tizz. And we know that the Galileans donít have it. So where is it?
Guard 1: No idea. Maybe the [whispers] angel [normal voice] took it?
Guard 2: Donít be soft. What would the gods want with a dead body? Someone has it though and Iíd love to know whoÖ..
Guard 1: Well I would love to know whatís happening with that Special Investigator Ė Iím fed up of waiting, come onÖ
Skit 3 Ė Mary & Thomas
[two people bump into each other]
Mary: [cautiously] Oh itís you.
Thomas: [enthusiastically] Itís me! Iím so pleased to see you Mary.
Mary: [surprised] Really?...
Thomas: Iíve seen him Mary. Iíve seen Jesus too!
Mary: [suddenly excited] Oh Thomas thatís wonderful! But I thought you didnítÖ I mean Ö. When did this all change?
Thomas: Yesterday evening. I know, I know Ė I didnít believe I admit it. I even said unless I can stick my finger in the holes in his hands and side I wonít believe it. But then yesterday he appeared to us all.
Mary: What happened?
Thomas: Well we were all in a locked room and suddenly Jesus was there and he looked straight at me and said. Here you go then Thomas. Here are my hands and my side have a good look if you want to, and feel that I really am real.Ö Well I didnít need to I just fell on my knees. I mean it really is true. He is alive!!!
Mary: I know! I know isnít it so exciting!!!
Thomas: Iím so sorry I didnít believe you Mary. Tell me again, what did you see?
Mary: Well it was on that first morning. Weíd all gone to the tomb to anoint his body and found it empty and I was so confused I stayed back when the others had gone. And then this man came and spoke to me. I was crying and I didnít recognise him Thomas, I didnít recognise him. Then he said my name and I suddenly knew it was him. It was Jesus Ė stood there talking to me. I couldnít believe it I was so happy. He told me to come back and tell everyone and to tell you and the others that he would see you again in Galilee.
Thomas: Well I donít think heís waited that long Mary Ė heís appeared to loads of us already. I heard that his done it again Ė he met a couple on the road to Emmaus Iím heading over to the others now to hear all about it. Come on. You wonít want to miss this.
Mary: Alright, alright. Iím coming. My goodness Thomas Ė you really have changed!
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