Sandi: Good Morning I’m Sandi Danish and welcome to IQ the show that likes to ask Interesting Questions – and is totally different to a certain other show on TV that might have a similar name. This week we are in York for our Christmas Special and my guests this morning are… Donald J. Trumpet…
Donald: Sorry losers and haters but my IQ is one of the highest and you all know it. Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure, it’s not your fault.
Sandi: ...and Dr Sheldon Coupe from ‘The Huge Crash Theory’…
Sheldon: I actually have one of highest IQ’s as well, my mother had me tested.
Sandi: ...and of course our resident troublemaker Alan Dimwit [Alan waves stupidly].
Here’s the game, we ask Interesting Questions hoping for Interesting Answers that entertain and inform and but any time a panellist gives a common misconception about any question you’ll hear this sound. [KLAXON sound effect]
As this is our Christmas Special our theme is the original Christmas Story of the birth of Jesus.
Alan: Great – I was in a school nativity once so I should actually know some of these!
Sandi: OK .. here goes with the first question: Why was Jesus born in a stable?
Donald: Ah stable! Like my good friend Theresa, very strong, very stable...
Sandi: Well, that’s not really an answer, so, anyone else?
Alan: Because there was no room in the inn?
[KLAXON sound effect]
Donald: They only went to the inn because Trumpet Resorts weren’t built yet, there is always space at Trumpet Resorts! Trumpet Resorts are the goodliest Resorts
Sheldon: Oh, I know this – isn’t it something about the word for inn actually means a guest room in the original Greek?
Sandi: Yes, that’s right Sheldon. It was very common for houses to have one family room, connected to a stable and sometimes a guest room. As you can see from the graphic on-screen now. The gospels are most likely saying that Mary and Joseph stayed with family in Bethlehem in a family home and the only space left was in the stable area. Points to you.
Next question: When was Jesus born?
Alan: Well I’m not saying 25th December!
[KLAXON sound effect]
I said I’m NOT saying ...
Sandi: Yes, it’s not the 25th December, nobody knows what day it actually was. So, can you tell me what year?
Donald: Well it’s not 0AD that is fake news! There is no 0AD – only 1 AD
Sandi: So are you saying it’s 1 AD? [trying to lead him to the klaxon]
Sheldon: Wasn’t it 3 B.C.?
Sandi: That’s certainly closer. You're right that the guy who developed the way we reckon years was a 6th-century monk named Dionysius Exiguus. Using this system there was a strong consensus among early Christian historians that Jesus was born somewhere around 2 B.C. or 3 B.C. Though some think it could've been as early as 4 B.C.
Alan: O come on.
Sheldon: Am I also right in saying we celebrate it in winter on the 25th December because Christians took over the pagan winter festival of Yuletide?
Sandi: Very good. [A bit grumpily] More points to you Sheldon.
Final question. How many wise men went to visit Jesus?
Donald: As a wise man I’m qualified to answer this. People say to me – Donald you’re the wisest man.
Sandi: Once again – not an actual answer – anyone else?
Alan: I think I’m getting the hang of this… There’s a number between 2 and 4 that is definitely not the answer.
Sandi: And why is that?
Sheldon: [Jumping in] The wise men brought 3 gifts to Jesus in Matthew’s gospel but we are never told how many wise men or Magi there were – other than it must’ve been more than 1 as the plural is used.
Alan: You’ll be telling me next that they didn’t follow a star!
Sandi: Correct Alan – well done – I think I might have to give you some points.
Sheldon: Yes, exactly, yes - astronomers now think it was probably an alignment of planets that would’ve appeared to the ancients as a bright new star ….
Donald: [talking over him] I have a star on Hollywood Boulevard, it’s the best star the biggliest star people say to me, Donald, you have the bestiest star…
Alan: I’m so confused!
Sandi: Well! [interrupting and shutting up everyone] that’s all we have time for this week.
Just time for the scores. In last place with -100 – Alan Dimwit.
In second place with 15 points Sheldon Coupe – and in a surprise result the winner is Donald Trumpet with 10,000 points!
Donald: I’d like to thank my friend Vlad…
Sandi: And thank you to my guests and all of you for watching and I’ll leave you with this inspiring quote from the great Professor Dumbledore:
‘to be or no deal, there is no try
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